Like Asking Questions In A Letter

Something my ex had told me was, “We fit together; we make sense.” The girl made perfect sense and I couldn’t agree any more. We complemented each other on so many levels. She leveled my spontaneity with being a big planner. Both of us understood our sarcastic sense of humour, while everyone around didn’t understand. I was mature on certain things, she was mature on the other things. We both loved the same type of foods and the same type of movies. Even if we didn’t like the same movie, I would sit through hers and she would sit through mine. I actually would end up liking some of the movies should would watch constantly in front of me (ie. Drumline). I think that the music was the only thing we didn’t get along with, and that was fine for the both of us. She sometimes would like some of the stuff I listened to, as well as I of the mainstream stuff she listened to. Sexually, we were pretty much in sync. It was the best part about our relationship. I was satisfied, and wanted a little more than I should’ve. I wanted it everyday, twice a day or more if possible. She didn’t, but I did want it an unreasonable number of times. Despite that, every time we would - it was spectacular. Her boobs…I loved them so much! She also had a great ass, but I’m a boob guy. I loved seeing her hair fixed up - she had wavy hair. She would make it curly every once in a while, and I loved it. It was my favourite way she would wear her hair. I missed her the most in the Mediterranean, as there were a lot of curly haired girls in Greece and Italy. She had kickass glasses, a cute face, the best feet, and a nasaly voice. She was tough, at least I believed so, she could be a bitch, unfortunately not when it counted, and she cared a lot about her family.

Throughout the last week and a half, I have been asked “What type of girl are you looking for?” all too many times. It seems to be the popular question. A lot of people want to know what qualities I’m looking for in a girl. It’s funny how I have the qualifications set in my head, but not written down. I can’t write everything down. Since, I had someone that fit the criteria on so many levels, I am not going to settle on my next gf. I am going to look for someone who obtains 90%+ of these qualifications. Not many of these qualifications are flexible. This is exactly what I’m looking for and I’m not going to budge. I know what I like/want. Life is too short to live unsatisfied and with a wantonness for more in my female counterpart.

Qualifications to be a potential mate for -RM:
Personality
Someone that knows the best part about life are experiences and not materials. Someone who is open-minded, has goals, has a great sense of humour, and can carry an intelligent conversation (along with silly ones as well). I want someone that can be strong-willed and be a bitch when needed. Doesn’t have to be artistic, as I am not, but has to appreciate art. We don’t have to agree on everything, I respect points of views - just as long as those viewpoints have substance and passion behind it. I would love to meet someone who has traveled, loves to travel, and/or appreciates other cultures and has a bit of an open palette for taste. You can know what you like, but if you haven’t tried it I say close your eyes and go for it. I like hole in the wall joints, but can go to upscale environments. I have the proper attire for both locations. I need someone who can feel comfortable in both settings, but would rather be at the hole in the wall. A big movie watcher as I appreciate going to the movies - and I hate going to them by myself. I love sarcasm and odd sense of humour. I love intelligence - must be a geek, really good with numbers, or just passionate about something geeky. Sexually open-minded. Someone that can appreciate time alone as well as time with their mate. Most importantly, I want someone that cares about their family, is as drama-free possible, has a good heart, stands up for themselves when they’re getting fucked over, can enjoy the nice quiet times, is confident in themselves, someone that demands respect, and appreciates nice things done for them not including monetarily. Someone who is not easily embarrassed and cares what others think.

Physical/Superficial
Someone who is taller/shorter than me - not the same height (#92 of 100 things about me). I prefer glasses, but am flexible on it. I like straight/wavy hair, with occasional curls. Someone that can look cute in a t-shirt and jeans. I like lighter skin - light tans, light coloured Hispanics, Indians, African-Americans, etc. Race doesn’t matter to me. I’m not a fan of blondes, but there can be exceptions. I personally like big noses - something I’m just attracted to, not a requirement. Europe was full of women with big noses. Cute face…I can’t stress this enough. I am a face buy because I’m a boob guy. If I were an ass man, I wouldn’t care what a girl looked like, but she has to have a cute face. I don’t want knock-out model, I don’t want a double take face, I want cute. I want someone that blends in and looks like the girl next door. That is a knock-out to me. If a flip-flop wearer…which most girls do, have nice feet. Great taste in shoes (#69 of 100 things about me). Since I’m a boob guy - big B’s to big C’s is the range I’m looking for. Anything smaller - hasn’t worked out for me, and anything bigger than a handful is a waste. I have big hands ;-). I like both raspy and nasal voices. If neither, raspy or nasal, I like accents ( #91 of 100 things about me) Basically, I want the sexy librarian/teacher/business woman look. I’m not too much into the indie look anymore and I don’t want want the club rat goer look. I want someone I can respect when I look at them, but not so respectable I can’t have sex with them. Last, but not least, I prefer older women. I think a minimum of 2 years older than me is a good gauge. I can be flexible, but they have to prove their maturity a lot!

I don’t think I’m asking for a lot as I have had this previously. As I said, I’m not going to settle for anything less. I will search and search until I find it again. At the end of the day, I want someone that I’m comfortable with, someone that I can trust, someone that I can be proud of, someone that can make me smile, and someone I can’t wait to see. The best part about my days were going home wanting to see the ex. I was like a puppy dog when I would get home before she would. I was so happy to see her. Despite the fact that I didn’t show it. This post has really helped me a lot in making me feel better. I have no idea how, but it has. I don’t feel as anxious anymore.

Speaking of puppy dogs, I am so excited as I have stopped looking for a girlfriend and am looking for a dog. If I find a girlfriend, great, but I’m not putting a lot of effort anymore. It will happen, when it happens. I am prepared to purchase the dog when I get settled wherever I am going to end up. A kangaroo if in Australia. A mini-Schnauzer (#40 of 100 things about me) if anywhere in the states. The ex and I shared one that I completely fell in love with. I will always love that dog, Lucy. I have also decided to name the next dog, Olive - with a nickname of Ollie. It was a name the ex wanted. It was second on my list of favourite names as Lucy was my first. I always wanted to say, “I love Lucy,” “oh Lucy!,” and “Luuuuuuuucy!!!” - just like Ricky Ricardo. Oh well, here’s to a new dog instead of a girlfriend. Although both can be bitches at times. = ) .

Listening to: Morrissey - If You Don’t Like Me, Don’t Look At Me

The first part of the title of this post is basically what a friend of mine told me this weekend in an enlightening conversation. She of course is an atheist, and was telling me how people believe in a deity in order to blame someone else for their problem. Thinking about it, I kind of agreed. I’m the last person to tell anyone about what to believe, nor do I care what others believe. I am religiously confused as I want to get back to my family roots (#3 of 100 things about me) by celebrating and honouring Jewish traditions, but due to the lack of a strong Jewish community, I follow and respect some Judeo-Christian beliefs - for order and what I believe is to be structure in my life. Again, religious ambiguity that just doesn’t make sense. I don’t push my beliefs on others, nor do I ever want to. I am also a big believer that that non-believers who push their ideology on me are just as bad as the bible thumpers that push their ideology on me. This post is not about religion.

This conversation took place on Sunday morning, if I remember correctly. All I know is that it is something that had been looming in my head until Sunday late afternoon. “I’m not one of those people that blame my problems on G-d!” I would tell myself over and and over. “What am I going to write about on the blog? What is going on in my life?….Oh, I’ve got it: I’ll write a big ‘Fuck You’ letter to the ‘Universe’ for the great imposition I’m in.” After trying to write out that post, I looked back and realized that the position I’m in is completely my fault, and none of that which was created by chance, ‘the Universe,’ or any deity.

I’m single because I broke up with my girlfriend. I left in order to become a better person, as she fed into my ego. Not because it was a good thing, but because she wanted to make me happy. I am lonely due to my own fault. I have high standards for the woman I want to spend my time with and share an intimate effort with. When it comes to sex, the girl doesn’t have to be smart, interesting, funny - just cute/hot. Although, certain turn offs just ruin the whole thing for me (#92 of 100 things about me is just one of a few). I’ll probably write about that. When looking for a relationship, I hold them to a high bar in which I compare to my ex. I am aware of this. This is my fault as I left her and had everything I needed in a companion. Now, I’m back on the search. I went back to the girlfriend seeking to recover the failed relationship in late November after a becoming a better person, and got burned in doing so. Again, my fault - I should’ve stayed away. I quit my job because I got sick of having to deal with a tumbling, tumbling dickweed. Totally my fault. I’m not going into the details of that one, but I tried resolving it the corporate way, and it backfired on me as the 90210 environment of the company surpassed any type of corporate rule. Oh well, I should’ve known better. My fault. I went to Europe instead of Central/South America for last minute touring vacation. This means that my vacation only lasted 3 months abroad instead of 6 months in which I could’ve lasted traveling as I left on a weak dollar/euro conversion. My fault. I wanted the experience of NOT knowing the languages and cultures.

The position I’m in is totally my fault, and it isn’t my domain to complain, but to fix. I truly believe that life is like writing with a pen (sidebar: I hate pencils). You can mess up and change a capital E to a B, a lowercase e to a lowercase g, and fix other slight typos with simply writing over your mistake. In some cases though, it’s best to look at your mistakes and take the piece the piece of paper you’re writing on and throw it away. Get another sheet and write a better story. This time being a little more aware of where ‘B’s, ‘g’s, and other typos should be. I believe I am in that process. It makes me feel better to know that I am writing it all over again. I’m not as frustrated.

On top of that, I have great news. I’m getting more and more job opportunities coming my way - and looking like they should come to a close very soon. One of which I’m seriously being considered for is in Australia. I had the first interview on Mother’s day evening as it was Monday morning there. I had my second interview last nite. They’ve been going well, and the process continues. Depending on how my situation turns out, I would drop everything and head on out there to live and work. As soon as I get out there, I would love to see if I can eat a dingo in order to say something really stupid like, “I ate your baby through proxy of a dingo!”

Listening to: Sia - Rewrite

I’m pro-China, because I’m anti-Syria.

Listening to: The Adicts - Chinese Takeaway

So, this morning I will be at the local courthouse probably falling asleep of boredom. I might be waiting to be called in for questioning or whatnot. I have NO idea as to how it goes. It seems like every year since I turned 18, I’ve been sent a letter for jury selection. Every year though, I’ve been exempt by my lovely determination for going to school. Now that I’m done with grad school, I can’t quite use school as an excuse. Shit!, I was out of the country when I was called up for jury selection this year. My step-dad did me the favour in calling the courthouse for me and asking for them to postpone it. They postponed it alright, and actually followed up. WHO FOLLOWS UP ANYMORE?!?!?!?!? Jeez, apparently these guys do!

So, I’m now going to experience something I’ve skipped out for 6 years now, and this is one of the few times I hope to NOT get to be picked for something. I usually like getting picked for stuff as it means I’m getting something for free. What kind of stuff? you ask. Whatever, it doesn’t matter - if I can’t use it, I can always sell it.

I’ve thought about it for a long time now. How do I NOT get picked for jury selection. I’m well educated (have a graduate degree), I’m young (24), and I’m a minority (hispanic). I think these are things that they’re going to look for in order to pick - maybe? Who knows?!?!??! What I DO know is that nobody wants someone who is ignorant on the jury. Hell, nobody wants anyone ignorant around, period. Sooooooo, I have a plan:

Nothing is more ignorant in this world than racism. Hating someone for something they absolutely have no control over is the stupidest thing ever! My plan for jury selection though is to say something racist. Disclaimer *I’m not a racist*. Now I have to say something so racist that it won’t want me get me picked for jury duty. I also have to say something not racist enough for me to get my ass kicked on my way back to my car in the parking garage. I was going to write down a little dialogue including lynching as a perfect form of capitol punishment, Native-Americans, Muslims, and something about how Jesus was/is a Jew, but every time I wrote it out, it just sounded stupid. Anyways, wish me luck!

The ONLY way I want to be considered for this jury is if it involves the death penalty. I would love to put a person on death row. When the time comes next year when I see the article about how Texas broke the record for the amount of killed inmates by the state, along with the pictures of each inmate, I can point to my inmate and say I helped by putting THAT person to death. I would feel so patriotic by doing my part. I wouldn’t even listen to a thing in that courtroom throughout the case. I would go into jury deliberations and just go, “GUILTY! - Let’s put them to death!!!”

Listening to: The New Pornographers - Execution Day

*BEFORE POSTING A COMMENT PLEASE READ WHERE THIS IS CATEGORIZED UNDER*

I have been very lucky in my life to have 3 mother-like figures in my life. 1 of whom I lost 5 years ago. I am so happy and fortunate to have had them in my life. Strong women that have shown me that women should be respected and that the bar can always be set just as high, if not higher for women.

Listeining to: The Decemberists - My Mother Was A Chinese Trapese Artist

So, I have just finished up How I Met Your Mother Seasons 1-3 (up until last Monday’s show). I have to say that in case you’ve never seen this show…you should. My other suggestion is for you to see this show from season 1. I have done this many times, but caught something this time. I just wanted to post it on here so that when it comes out, I can say I said it first.

Sarah Chalke’s character, Stella, is the mother. On her first episode on the show, she tells Ted that the only time she had a chance of going out was during a St. Patrick’s Day party that went horribly wrong and she had to leave early. Ted, mentioned on the St. Patrick’s Day episode that ‘the mother’ was at the party he was at, but they didn’t see each other. They also didn’t know they were at the same party until years later. Ted didn’t ask about the St. Patrick’s day party while at the office with Stella.

If I’m wrong, I don’t give a shit, but just wanted to use this blog as a post for me to have somewhat proof that I thought it before it happens. All too many times I say stuff is going to happen, yet have no proof I said it before it happens. My other other predictions include: The World Ends in 2032, I will get married in 2014, I will die in 2032, I will get divorced in 2030, I will have no children, The Arrested Development movie will rock, and in 2031 I will max out every credit card I will have gotten after apply for a lot of them.

Listening to: Autolux - Future Perfect

Well, I kind of knew it. I went in there thinking the best. I was calm, cool, and collected. I’m going to cut this post real short and not go into too many details and just say that there wasn’t a connection, Chuck. I don’t know why I got this vibe, but it felt like I was hanging out with my sister, rather than a date. She was a nice, kickass, cool girl to hang out with, and now I have a new friend. Nothing was wrong with her, but IT just wasn’t there. There was no spark, and I just saw her like a friend. It’s weird how I think. It was kind of funny(slash fucked up), as I saw her mannerisms and all I could think was my ex in my head telling me about Rachael Ray eating with the side of her mouth, and just how quickly she went down the ‘hot woman’ totem pole. Oh well, I am ready to move on…but I after a couple of real dates that I have been on - I think I am going to take a break again and continue being a slut. It’s worked rather well for me lately. Again, if it work, it works. If it doesn’t, it’s cool. I’m beginning to be a little too laid back!

Listeing to: Nine Black Alps - Just Friends

The ex used to tell me I reminded her a lot of what Patrick Bateman represented (sans serial killer). The epitome of what I used to be was during this scene:

Listening to: The Dandy Warhols -Everyone is Totally Insane

Okay, so I am supposed to be writing about my dates from this little online dating organization that I joined not too long ago. Yet, I joined, and am not really looking for anything - as when I joined I was expecting to get a job right off the bat! I am now in a point where I’m looking in all different directions and cities for jobs. I’m wanting Austin to be my target, yet don’t know where I’m going to end up as I have been applying to jobs in Houston, DC, and on Thursday I open the floodgates to Chicago. Something I didn’t want to do, but I need something. I am okay on money, but cannot be without a job - I need to do something. I am about to go crazy and I need to do something. I had some interviews last week and am waiting to hear from them. Ugh, I’m still looking aimlessly for a job.

Well, out of left field - I decide I’m bored and decide to update my dating profile. I look at some other profiles and see that some are interesting. I send some girls a quick message, and don’t think anything of it. I’m more concerned about getting a job, than I am about getting a girlfriend. On top of all this, I am having enough of my nitetime being taken up by some girls I’m already going out with that I have met on my nites out. Meeting women isn’t a problem for me…meeting women that want something serious is. I’m still looking to take it slow, but the only thing I have met are girls that just don’t ever want a serious relationship. Some/most guys will say, ‘Kudos to you!’ Meh, either way, it’s not a focus. Mind you, I’m not even expecting a soulmate or wife out of this, but I am looking for someone who can be serious and I don’t have to be their fucking babysitter. I don’t need one, nor do I want to be one.

So, a couple of days ago I get a message from one of the girls I was looking online at. I check my mail - and this girl had been trying to send me an e-mail 3 times, but got an error all 3 times. She just sends me a message that she’s been trying to contact me and has failed. I get online, to see her profile. I get this pop-up chat box, and it’s her wanting to talk to me. I hate web based IM client chats - sidebar: fuck you, facebook chat! - and tell her to message me on AIM. Btw, any readers can message me on AIM: knicksandyanks is my username. So we get to talking and after an exchange of greetings: hi/hey, she asks straight away

her: Are you a yankees fan?
me: um….yea
her: yikes
me: and a knicks fan
her: this probably isn’t going to work.
me: why?
me: are you a bosox fan?
…..she tells me she’s an Astros’ fan first, she does like the sox, and and her grandmother is from Boston
me: you’re right
me: well it was nice talking to you.

She says, “Peace” and I respect that and reply, “I’m j/k.” I ask her if she’s that die hard of a fan, and she tells me she is. Except, she hates the Braves more. Then she proceeds to tell me that she used to love the Knicks. Now, I’m a Knicks fan, but they have been shitty these past few years. I grew up on the Knicks - Ewing, Starks, Oakley, X-Man, Jackson…I hated/respected Jordan. He ruined them year in and year out. I also don’t forget Reggie Miller. He haunts me in my dreams! Anyways, she used to like them during the SAME period! Total, respect on that!

We start talking about our taste in music, as I have a ridiculous amount of my favourite bands on my profile. Also, about our love of Arrested Development. The girl is gaining points and I am on the other side. We highly believe that music connects people. This is a huge belief of mine, and actually prefer if someone didn’t like the same sports team as I do, but the same music is a little critical. I love rooting against someone, not with them. I also like to take long random road trips, so if you don’t like the music I like, you’re in for a rough ride. We ended up chatting for a total of about 4-5 hours. She’s a borderline insomniac, just like me. This is beginning to be awesome. We exchange numbers and we actually text each other a couple messages after chatting for so long. We find out that we’re both text whores. Yes, I used that word to describe myself, and she also called herself one too. I love to text!

So, I was psyched later on in the morning when she texted me, and I texted back. I texted back in the afternoon that I was going to Austin on Wednesday and we could do something that day. Austin is 45 minutes away from me. Not a big deal, but with gas the way it is - a little. I need to start looking for places to live. I’m pretty much 90% set on Austin, but am opening up opportunities in other cities as I can’t limit myself to just one. Bad move on my part.

Last nite, I decided to call the girl. Yea, texting is great, but I wanted another experience. Also, in my experience - girls don’t typically like to text, no matter what they say. I hate talking on the phone. So, we start out. I make sure to make the time and make sure to get in an area where my signal won’t disconnect. I am wondering what I’m headed into, and off I go. I spoke to her earlier in the evening, but it was real quick to see what we were going to do today. I told her, I’d call her later on and there I am. The conversation went great. Ended up saying our goodbyes 3 hours into the phone conversation, and kept it going for another 30 minutes. Saying goodbye was really hard - even on chat, as we just kept on going.

So, now today we meet up. I am meeting up with her in the afternoon for lunch, I think…and then in the evening. I am going to peruse Austin and just look for places to live. I’m moving in with my best friend, Jon, which will be full of adventures to fill up this blog - I’m sure. This girl has met the criteria on so many levels that I look for in a mate - traveled (lived in France for 1 year), speaks a foreign language (Some Spanish, German, fluent French), has an accent (Southern drawl), loves indie music/foreign movies, she’s cute, has glasses, is funny and entertaining, she is college educated (about to get her master’s). There’s more to the list, but I’m going to cut it at that. I’m looking forward to it, but not really expecting anything big. I think it’s perfectly fine if we don’t have a spark - as I am also looking for more friends. I want to trust more and I want to attain closer, deeper, friendships. If it happens, it happens; if it’s not there, then it wasn’t meant to be. Physical chemistry is important in a relationship, and if it isn’t there, it’s just not going to work out on a romantic level. I’m really glad, I’ve attained someone I can stand to talk to and likes the same music and interests as me. Tomorrow, I will write about how this went, and what I look for in a girl. Apparently, what I am looking for has been the hot question of the month from everyone to me.

Listening to: Pavement - Date With IKEA